Service - with a Smile!

A list of "100 Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do" was recently published in the New York Times.   On his blog, The Christian School Journal, Dr. Barrett Mosbacker writes:

I found the following list of “rules” fascinating for several reasons: 

• It gives me a glimpse into the restaurant customer service world
• I found many (not all) of the rules outlined to be consistent with biblical principles of courtesy, and 
• It got me to thinking, “what would my list look like if I wrote one for Christian  teachers and administrators serving students and parents?” 

He "wonders" - If there are 100 (rules) for restaurant service staff, surely there are 100 (rules) for serving our parents.  After all, they are paying customers of the educational services we provide.

• Click HERE to read Dr. Mosbacker's complete post, including the list of "100 Dont's"
• Click HERE to participate in Dr. Mosbacker's discussion "100 Things Christian School Employees Should Never Do."  This is a Facebook discussion.  If you are unable to participate in the Facebook discussion, feel free to leave your comments on Dr. Mosbacker's blog (see link above).

Wagging the Dog

Challenging the Backward Thinking of Parental Surrender
By Jonathan Nazigian
The King's Christian School (Cherry Hill, NJ)

There is a reason we don’t let 12 year-olds vote.
There is a reason we don’t let 15 year-olds join the army.
There is a reason we don’t let 13 year-olds drive.

Children are an incredible blessing from God, and we love them, but let’s face it, they are not the pinnacle of sound judgment. Ask any parent who has seen that glazed, deer-in-the-headlights look staring back at them after they’ve asked, “What were you thinking?” and you’ll know. There is a reason God did not say, “Let the child train himself up in the way he thinks he should go…”

Why? Because God, who created and designed us, knows we come into the world under the curse of sin. We are born in ignorance with our hearts bent toward rebellion. We are not, because of our sin nature, naturally prone to seek out God’s best over our own selfish desires. Just like us, adolescents struggle with many things, but the difficulty of their struggle is compounded with a profound lack the maturity and an absence of real-world experience that helps put those struggles into a better perspective. A few things we know . . .

1. Adolescents have little idea who they are (their true identity).

2. Adolescents do not successfully delineate between what they want and what they truly need.

3. Adolescents have lots of energy but are flooded with hormones. Hormones do not make judgment clearer.

4. Adolescents often have dreams not based in reality.

5. Adolescents are perpetually ungrateful and think the grass is so much greener anywhere else but where they are at the time.

And yet, even knowing all of this, many Christian parents will take the one parental decision that will have the greatest bearing on their child’s future—the decision as to who, aside from them, will most shape the worldview of their impressionable, searching, and vulnerable children for 40+ hours every week—and hand that decision over to the child to make.

As someone who has been involved in Christian Education as a student, a teacher, and an administrator for 33 years I have seen what used to be a rare occurrence grow into an astounding trend. Christian parents who leave the ultimate decision for their child’s schooling in the hands of their child.

Some parents do this directly. “Johnny, where do you want to go to school next year?”

Others do it indirectly; they cave in to their child’s constant complaining often directed at “the school” when, ultimately, the school is not the real issue, just the easiest target.

Others, who want to move their children from the public school system into Christian school, take an approach that is sabotaged from the start, “Susie, let’s just try Christian school for a few months, and if you don’t like it, you can go back to public school.”

It seems the tail is wagging the dog.

Where are the Christian parents who will make a decision in the best interest of their children and then fight for it, despite the external pressures and internal doubts that inevitably come? Where are the Christian parents who will stand their ground and fight for their children’s best future, even if it means fighting with their children in the short term?

Where is the Christian parent who will sit down with their child, look them in the eye, and say,..

…To the child who’s being picked on…

“Susie, I love you. And I know you do not like school right now. I know your friends are being mean, but just changing schools will not resolve the real issue. Mean girls are everywhere and you will face unkind people throughout your life. The best place to learn how to deal with them is in a school where the Biblical truths of peacemaking and reconciliation are taught.”

…To the child who has dreams of playing sports at the local public school…

“Tommy, I love you. And I know you want to play football. But much more important in your life is your spiritual and academic future. I cannot sacrifice that for anything. I love you too much to put you under the influence of teachers, coaches, and friends who have other agendas and do not have your best interest in mind. We can explore township football, but when it comes to your schooling, Christian Education is a non-negotiable.”

…To the child doesn’t like the rules…

“Mary, I love you. And I know you would prefer to wear other clothes and that you don’t like some of the rules at school. But your true character and integrity aren’t revealed by how well you obey rules you like. True character is revealed by how you respond to authorities and rules you don’t like. No place is perfect, but your spiritual formation is not something I’m willing to sacrifice to a public school.”

…To the child whose friends are leaving for public school…

“Eddie. I love you. And I know several of your friends might be leaving for public school. But God does not hold me responsible for the choices other parents make. God holds me accountable for you. And I know that Christian school is the best thing for you. And I also know what real faith means. It means that despite how it feels right now, choosing to be obedient and to live God’s way will bring blessing, and that God probably has other and newer school friendships waiting for you.”

In the end, it all comes down to how we view what’s most important in the battle for the hearts and minds of our children.

Some parents view Christian Education like Karate classes or swim lessons—a nice little “extra” in their child’s life, so long as it is affordable and the child enjoys it. But if the finances get tough, or the child begins to complain, Christian school can be replaced with cheaper alternatives. Why pay so much for something my child doesn’t seem to like?

I choose to view Christian Education like food or immunizations. These are necessities to my family. I don’t care how much my children complain about having to eat balanced, healthy meals or the momentary prick of the doctor’s needle; my decision is firm, and it is for their best interest. And I will take a third job, do without vacation, or sell my furniture before I place my child in the furnace of an educational system centered on humanism, relativism, and cultural idolatry. You see, God did not call me to a life of comfort, free from struggle. God called me to train up my children in the most Biblical way possible and to give them every opportunity to turn their hearts toward Him.

I refuse to surrender in this war.

Jonathan Nazigian is Minister of Spiritual Life at The King’s Christian School in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. He is the undeserving husband to a beautiful wife and the proud father of three wonderful sons. He may be contacted at jnazigian@tkcs.org.

A Failure as a Father

by Jonathan Nazigian

I am a failure. At least that is what my TV told me. The other night, during the evening news, several of the local TV stations conducted a digital signal test to show viewers if their television was ready for the upcoming switch from analog to digital broadcasting. As my wife and I sat with our two boys, we had fun counting down the seconds until the test would begin (the outcome already known to my wife and I since the TV we were given 9 years ago was definitely not digital-ready). And, lo and behold, when the clock struck zero, the message was clear: we had failed. The boys had even more fun as we flipped through the channels calling out to each other, “We failed!” “We failed, again!” “How about channel 10? Nope! Failed again!”

So yes, I am a failure. I have failed to provide my family with a digital-ready television. Soon, our rabbit ears will be obsolete and our 24” electronic window to the world of broadcast news and entertainment will grow dark. Unless, of course, we convert (but that’s a discussion for another day).

As I was musing on my “failure” as a father, I was actually encouraged that despite my inability to provide some extra “niceties” of modern life, by God’s grace, I have been able to provide not only what the world recognizes as necessities (food, clothing, shelter), but God has also allowed me to provide that which is even more vital to my children—a godly home and Christ-centered schooling.

I was also encouraged to be a part of a Christian school ministry, where other Christian parents and I have partnered together to provide our students with an education that is of the highest caliber—an education where all of God’s truth is taught with excellence for His glory.

And yet, as I continue to watch dozens of Christian schools across the country close their doors for lack of students and for lack of donor support, I have to ask some hard questions of my fellow Christian parents.

How many Christian parents are failing their children on an issue with eternal stakes far greater than digital TV? This Christmas, how many Christian parents will sacrifice to provide their children with new toys, outfits, and electronic gadgets, while failing to provide what their children need most—the one thing God has commanded parents to provide for their children—a knowledge of God, a Biblical worldview?

How many Christian parents who would never, knowingly place their child in physical danger, will more than willingly place their highly impressionable children in spiritual danger every day in a public school system which must, by law, teach moral relativism? How many Christian parents will continue to enroll their intellectually curious children in a public school system which must, by law, artificially remove the truth of God from every academic subject, and which must, by law, remain not neutral (for neutrality when it comes to God is impossible) but anti-God (for acknowledging the creation without acknowledging the Creator is the epitome of idolatry)?

How many Christian parents are giving their children the world to the forfeit of their soul?

A few years ago, my wife and I attended a dinner party at the home of a local couple. The hostess was actually a graduate of the Christian school in which I serve and commented on how impressed she was with the improvements she had seen in the school over the years. She then made the comment I have heard so many times, from so many people. “It’s a shame Christian school tuition is so high. I would love for my kids to go there, but we just can’t afford it.”

I’ll be honest. What I said out loud and what I was really thinking were not the same. What I said was some general, polite comments about scholarships and fundraising and true cost vs. tuition. What I was really thinking was quite different, and perhaps the geniality of the evening was preserved because I didn’t have the boldness to speak it out loud.

As I looked around the very large house, furnished with very nice things, located in a very nice neighborhood, with two very nice cars parked in the very nice, multi-car garage, and some very nice toys filling the very large back yard, I really wanted to say, “Please. Don’t say you can’t afford Christian school. Be honest with yourself. Say you choose not to afford Christian school.”

Too blunt? Maybe. Too insensitive? Probably. And I know, I know, you can’t judge by appearances, etc. etc. But I think there is a core truth to the “I can’t afford Christian school excuse” that many ignore. There are those who value Christian school but genuinely cannot afford it, and there are those who, instead, choose to afford other things they value more.

For example, let’s say an average, middle-class man walks past a Mercedes Benz dealership and says, “Sure, it would be nice to have a Mercedes, but I can’t afford one.” Technically, this is probably not true. He could afford it; he just decides to spend his money elsewhere. For example, he could sell his house and buy the Mercedes. However, most would agree that this would not be a wise decision. It would be a foolish financial move to sell what, for most people, is their largest investment (their home), to buy a car, the value of which depreciates very rapidly.

In the same way, an average, middle-class, Christian family says, “Sure, it would be nice to have our children in Christian school, but we can’t afford it.” As I said earlier, for some, this is indeed true. But technically, for most, this is probably not true. They just decide to spend their money elsewhere. For example, they could move to a smaller home or choose lesser furnishings or drive an older car or vacation in a less expensive place. This brings us to the core question of value. What is the more valuable investment, a home (or furnishings, or car, or vacation, etc.) or the formation and education of one’s children in the best, most biblical way possible?

And the irony is that if even half of those Christian parents who can afford Christian schooling chose to enroll their children, Christian schools would be in such a strong position financially that they would be able to lower tuition for everyone and fully fund scholarship programs for those who truly cannot afford it.

Most parents would sacrifice everything for their children, even their very lives. So why are so many Christian parents not willing to sacrifice financially to provide their children with the best education possible?

I may fail at many things as a father and provider, but may I never disobey God by failing to provide my children with every possible opportunity to be trained up in the way they should go, so when they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

May I never disobey God by failing to teach my children God’s commands, when I sit at home, when I walk along the road, when I lie down and when I get up (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). And since I cannot be with my children throughout the day, may I never fail to place them under the day-by-day, moment-by-moment teaching and influence of someone who loves God with all of his or her heart and has the freedom to teach my children openly about the Truth.

May I never disobey God by failing to pray for my Christian school, by failing to give to my Christian school, or by failing to lovingly confront my fellow Christian parents in love about their need to do the same.

May I never fail at what matters most.

Inquiring Parents Want to Know!

Mark Strohm, Jr.
Elementary Principal
Delaware County Christian School

From my 20 plus years in School Administration I can tell you - without any doubt - there is one primary bit of information every parent wants to know from their child’s teacher. Often a parent will hear nothing in an initial teacher meeting until they get the answer to this primary question. If a parent is not satisfied they have the answer, all of our communication, every story they hear from their child, will be filtered in such a way as to discern the answer to this most important question. What does every parent want to know?

Does this teacher love my child?

I have found there are two types of teachers. Some teachers feel it is their divine calling to measure and observe students while imparting knowledge and wisdom to them. Then at the appointed time, through their educated power of observation they are to declare which students are “good” or “bad” as well as which students are “smart” and which are “not so smart.” Parents are not impressed with this “purely professional” approach and conclude that teachers espousing it lack love. Wise teachers understand their calling as an opportunity to roll up their sleeves and come alongside parents to help teach and train students. These teachers work on their skills to be a greater blessing to students. They rejoice with parents and praise God when students succeed. Failure of a child, either morally or academically is a matter of great concern. At the point of failure parents are contacted to coordinate efforts to help the child grow and learn. Genuine interest is shown in each child with an acknowledgement that all are divinely created by God with great love and concern. Parents will appreciate these teachers and recognize the love this teacher has for their child.

I suggest you put every parent at ease! Let them know right at the start of the school year how much you appreciate working with young people.

• Assure them it is a joy for you to get to know their son or daughter.
• Share with parents the call of God on your life and why you desire work as a teacher in a Christian School.
• Let parents know that it is your aim to work closely with them to minister to their child.
• Clearly communicate that you want parents to contact you if they hear something is wrong and that you will work together with them through thick and thin. Trust me on this one - you can take the time up front or you can spend loads of time later trying to repair a parent’s perception.
  

Make it obvious that you love each child and are excited to work alongside parents, then make it doubly obvious!